yikes, I need to stop being hormonal and crying because I suddenly realise that I've been wrong all this while. Because I hated my school and life so much, I often felt like I really didn't matter at all to anyone. After reading the paintbrush story in A Sense of Belonging in sec two, I felt so worthless. When Ms Ong made us do the chart of what would happen should we be the ones who ceased to exist, who and what will be affected and how. The aim I guess, was to help enforce the feeling of worthiness within us. But even when the chart was due, all I could fill up was "my sister would never be born".

I don't really know when, but I suddenly realised that there really are people who would never replace me or anything else for something else. That, I genuinely matter to them.

From Shirlyn and Amelia who constantly stuck by me even when I was being most selfish, mean and infuriating.

From Valerie, whom I share a friendship with that is barely a month old, who organised a dinner on my birthday because of me.

From Beatrice calling me and bugging me for what I want, because it mattered to her that she got me something, something I really like. 

From Yang Yi, Jing Yi, Gen, Amanda Han and DK who specially came together to give me one of the greatest surprises ever, eventhough they couldn't be physically there. And again, I barely know them (minus Yang Yi)

From Jolynn, Mags, Selene and Ying Xin who voluntarily went back to BK today to help me get back my jacket when I didn't even know they knew I left it there until they called me to tell me they went on a wild goose chase only to find that I went and got it back already. 

From Celine, Esther and Jean, all of whom I know I can entrust anything upon them, who have been always been there regardless because TEAM sticks together, who specially arranged a whole day to celebrate my birthday with me when I didn't even ask. EVEN IF YOU GUYS ARE BETTING THAT ME, OF ALL PEOPLE, WOULD BE THE FIRST TO GET MARRIED, I ♥ YOU GUYS VERY MUCH.

I once posted how I dreaded me birthday because I didn't want to feel obligated to celebrate it with anyone. Little did I know that I was the privileged one when they wanted to celebrate it for me♥

It' s been MY honour to have you all to call my friend.

I'm never going to take anyone for granted again. And I'm promising myself that I will try my best to do just that and be as selfless as possible from now on, because I know one of my greatest flaws is that I'm really selfish, and I really want to change that about me.

SIDENOTE! Mcfly has very much influenced the way I think of my friends. Despite practically living next door to each other, they've never taken each other for granted for the past eight over years. You'll know just by reading their tweets about each other. It's that good.